Do you leave certain good deeds on account of your children, or increase them?
Ibn Masood (r) would pray in the night with his little son sleeping next to him. He would look at his son and say: مِنْ أجْلِكَ يَا بُنَيَّ “This is for you, my dear son.” He would weep and recite: وَكَانَ أبُوهُمَا صَالِحًا “And their father was righteous.” (18:82)
Allah sent His slave to restore the wall under which the treasure of two orphan boys was buried, because their father was righteous.
The piety of parents benefits their children. So increase your good deeds on account of your children, do not leave them.
Too many people believe they *own* others. We take each other for granted way too much. Men believe they own their wives, women feel they own their children, bosses think employees are theirs, but we forget that ultimately we all belong to Allah – as individuals.
See, when you internalise the fact that the one you love belongs wholly to Allah, you’ll see your actions change drastically towards them… you’ll let them be their own person, you become less controlling, and selfishness starts to leave you. You give them their space accordingly, and you become caring and considerate of them to the deepest and highest levels – because you know those levels are witnessed by Allah. In all, your relationship becomes rooted in taqwa (God-consciousness) and you’ll do so many good things without expecting reward (from them) and without batting an eyelid. And that makes your loved one return an ocean of goodness back to you in ways and at times you never anticipated.
…And if they depart from this world, you’ll remember that they were a gift as well as a loan. Yes, you will grieve, yes you will be a mess for a while. But you’ll be alright because you knew that they belonged to Allah and not to you. Thus we say ‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un’ – To God we all belong, and to Him we are returning.
Let people be. Cultivate a sound heart for yourself.
The concept of deposits comes from the work of Steven Covey. The idea is that if we aren’t making deposits with our loved ones 😍, we’ll have nothing to withdraw. When it comes to spiritual deposits, I want you to think of deposits you make with your child to remind them of Allah, the Prophet ﷺ, Quran, good deeds, etc. Ask your child, “How have you seen Allah’s miracles today?” 🤩 Many children know Allah is the One in control, but draw their attention to how Allah is constantly doing things for them in their day. And calling us closer to Him. This will help them make their own spiritual deposits. 💫 Draw their attention to what deposits they’ll make with Allah through their good deeds, have them share someone they want to help today, have them share how they’ll use a verse of Quran to think about Allah today (you can model this by sharing first). “O people, you should do whatever good deeds you can, for Allah does not get tired (of giving reward) until you get tired. And the most beloved of good deeds to Allah is that in which a person persists, even if it is little. If the family of Muhammad ﷺ started to do something, they would persist in it.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] – Sh. Muhammad alShareef
📊 Children who receive positive attention and support are resilient and tend to thrive more even if coming from a disadvantaged background [Study Shows]
📊 Children who receive positive attention most of the time, have a strong sense of being secure and loved. [Study shows]
📊 Young children aged 4 and 6 who have experienced compassionate parenting are more generous to others than their peers [study suggests]
📊 Positive communication promotes children’s social and problem-solving skills
What do all these headlines have in common?
Honor – When you honor children they grow up to become resilient, generous, confident and successful adults. And Subhan Allah how many beautiful examples of honoring children do we find in the Sunnah of Prophet ﷺ forever leading us with the best example. If we could only just follow his ﷺ path in every aspect of our life.
As promised in my previous video, today I am sharing 7 practical tips with you to honor your children.
Surprise them with their favorite snack. 🍫🍪🍩🥞
Give them a high five 🙏🏽 on small accomplishments.
Ask them questions…❓ ‘Do you prefer this or that…’ is often a good question to ask.
Ask them permission, if you can watch what they’re doing.
Put your phone 📱 away so it doesn’t distract you from your kids.
Leave surprises 🎁 for them under their pillow.
Ask about the things they care about.
Children internalize our words.
What we say to them, how we treat them all translates into how they develop and who they end up to be.
When you associate a child with negative words, they internalize that negativity and act upon it. They justify that behaviour based on your perception of them. But when you associate a child with positive words, they act positively as well.
📊 Children who are raised with positive and supportive parenting grow up to be more generous, confident and resilient. [Studies Show]
📊 Children tend to fullfil the expectations we set of them. [Study Shows]
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