A Woman’s love is one of the most beautiful things a man can ever possess. It’s a warm blanket over a shivering body, a word of comfort and support in the midst of lies, a sip of water and morsel of food in the belly of a starving wanderer. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, “…The most blessed joy in life is a good, righteous wife.” The purity of a good woman’s love can’t be matched by any other worldly thing. Getting to a point where you can receive that love is a wholly different story. Many of us put walls up around our hearts. We’ve been taunted by people who don’t understand our faith, called by the worst names just for existing in our religious garb. And sadly, we’ve also been hurt by people in our own community. Imams of mosques throw around jokes about women as though we can’t hear them – as though it doesn’t affect us to be lumped together and stereotypically thought of as too emotional, too complicated, too female. From the sneering comments about having four wives that send the men into fits of roaring laughter to the dank dungeons of mosques to which we are relegated – women struggle with it all. Some of us are even exposed to abuse within our own families. We’re told that we can’t. That’s the word that’s most often used: “can’t.” Can’t follow your dreams because you’re a woman. Can’t ever be in the public eye because you’re a woman. Can’t speak for yourself because you’re a woman. Can’t. Can’t. Can’t. But we can, and we know it, because we are some of the most intelligent, articulate human beings on the planet. And so we struggle every day to be faithful believers, to follow our dreams even though we’re being told not to, to work diligently to better our community because we love it despite its flaws. Every day we live that struggle. And so we unknowingly build walls around our hearts. Not to keep love out, but to keep pain out. To keep out the voices of people who tell us to not speak or do or think. To keep out the comments of passersby on the train saying go back to your own country. The walls are there so that the disrespectful jokes roll off our shoulders, so that we can still enter the mosque and pray even when the space is subpar. We need those walls around our hearts to survive. We’ve pieced together those exterior shells so that we are not devastated at every turn, heartbroken at every negative word, unable to lift our heads above water every time someone says we “can’t.” A woman’s love is within those walls, within that shell that has been growing and hardening for years. The unsuccessful man tries to forcefully break down those walls and reach what is within, angrily giving up when he realizes those fortresses aren’t suddenly going to come crashing down. He wants what he doesn’t yet deserve. The successful man stands and waits until he notices one single loose brick in that wall, and he nudges it and coaxes it out of its place. That’s the beginning of love – the systematic dismantling of every barrier that she has put up because she has had to survive all these years. He commits to her. He offers her his heart, even if it’s also bruised and battered, so that she can know it’s safe to finally just be. That is when true love is born. Those who have known a good woman’s love will know that there is nothing like it. Nothing sweeter. Nothing truer. Nothing else that can be a perpetual place of warmth in the midst of winter, a private running stream in the midst of drought, and a place to put your heart when your heart was once homeless. It takes a good man’s love to really know the potential of a good woman’s love. May God grant it to all those who seek it. “Good women are for good men, and good men for good women” (24:26). وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ
Asalamu Alaykum All!
The Loving Series
“When Allah Loves You” part I
You will probably never meet a Muslim who says they don’t love Allah. Even if they don’t pray and they commit haram they will tell you they love Allah.
So everybody loves Allah, but the bigger deal is, “Does Allah love you”?
Allah is loving and He does love His servants. That’s why one of His names is Al Wadood. “The loving”.
The scholars say love is the essence of our worship and the focal point of our relationship with Allah. Contemplate the following verse:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مَنْ يَرْتَدَّ مِنْكُمْ عَنْ دِينِهِ فَسَوْفَ يَأْتِي اللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ يُحِبُّهُمْ وَيُحِبُّونَهُ
“Oh you who believe whoever of you abandons his religion, then Allah is going to bring a people that He LOVES and they LOVE Him…”
Al Ma’ida 5:54
Why didn’t Allah say people who will WORSHIP Him? Or OBEY Him ? Or FEAR Him?
The verse started with Allah’s love towards them and then the love He gets in return. That is the essence of our relationship with Allah.
Allah loves the believers! Contemplate verse 14 from Surat Al Burooj where Allah says:
وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ الْوَدُودُ
And He is the forgiving, the Loving.
69 times in the Quran “Ghafour” (forgiving ) is followed by “Raheem” (merciful), because pairing mercy with forgiveness makes more sense. But this time Allah mentions that He is forgiving yet loving. Why?
Because you might forgive someone yet still dislike them or even hate them.
But Allah wants you to know that he will forgive you and still keep loving You!
Contemplate the effect of worshipping a God that hates you. Would you be energetic in worshiping Him? Would you love to spend hours talking to Him?
A Christian scholar conducted a study and discovered that more Christians love God the Father (according to them) more than God the son. Because God the Father is the angry one who couldn’t forgive for thousands of years, while God the Son was the merciful loving one that offered to die for their sins.
People naturally gravitate towards a loving God.
Another Bonus of when Allah loves you, you become loved by the angels and you will be granted acceptance on earth.
Allah’s Messenger (salla Allahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “If Allah loves someone He calls (angel) Jibreel and says: ‘I love so-and-so, so love him.’ Jibreel loves him and calls the other angels in Heaven to love that person. They love him, then his love (acceptance) is made upon earth, and he becomes loved…”
May Allah grant us His love. Amen
Sh Kamal mekki
Even though speakers and Khutab (sermons) tend to focus more on fearing Allah, the scholars say that love of Allah is stronger and better than fear.
What are the fruits of fearing Allah? You stay away from sinning!
But the fruits of loving Allah are greater in that you also stay away from sins but because you love Allah, you go above and beyond in worship and in performing voluntary acts. When you love Allah:
* it’s easier to give up bad habits.
E.g. Guy can’t quit smoking for years but he suddenly quits. You ask him how he did it and he says, “My fiancé told me that if I wanted to marry her I’d have to quit”!
He couldn’t quit for years but love made him do it in no time! If you love Allah, giving something up for His sake becomes easy.
* you love His speech!
True story…a guy spoke to his fiancé from Isha’ until dhuhr!
Another story…a guy spent three hours in the cold speaking to his fiancé over the phone!
When you love Allah you love His speech (the Quran) and you never get tired of it. For some it’s five minutes of Quran and then ….Zzzzzzzzz!
* you love Qiyyam (night prayer).
One of the early Muslims cried on his death bed, so his friends thought he was crying because he’s going to miss his children. He said, “I’m crying because I’m going to miss qiyyam al layl”!
He loved talking to Allah for hours into the night and more importantly he knows that for thousands of years he will not be able to seek forgiveness once or mention Allah a single time. So rightfully so that he cried!
* love to meet Allah.
“Whoever loves to meet Allah, Allah will love to meet them and whoever hates to meet Allah, Then Allah hates to meet them”.
* you accept His decree
All the above are more attainable with love than with fear.
The more you know Allah and study His attributes you naturally love Him more.
The more you recognise and contemplate His many blessing you love Him more.
-Sh. Kamal El Mekki